A Memorial Day Weekend to Remember

The past couple of weeks have been a whirlwind! I didn't even write about my experience in the field. Marksmanship went pretty well. I shot 37 out of 40 targets on the pop up range and achieved expert status for the first time. When we got back, we cleaned our weapons for a while and then we started our engineering courses. I finally busted out the calculator for some calculations. It was pretty exciting! I have my work cut out for me in studying, but I'm very excited about what I'm learning. I have my first exam on Friday. I'm also starting the Sapper/Ranger train-up this week. It is going to be a lot more intense, but I like challenges like that. I'll keep you posted on how all that goes.

This was the best Memorial Day weekend I've ever had. I proposed to Katie on Saturday evening on the 11th floor of the newly renovated Ohio State Main Library. She said yes, and I feel like the luckiest guy in the world. I'll be driving back to Missouri today with a smile on my face.

I could probably write about Katie for the rest of the day, but I'll stop here and just say that we look forward to sharing our lives with our community of family and friends.

Love!

Identity in Music

I don't know if everyone feels this way, but I feel a base urge within that I am supposed to be making music. This is problematic because I am not naturally talented with music. I don't think that it is the desire to live like a rock star because I'm not attracted to that lifestyle, but I do admire those who wake to make music.

I am certainly a music appreciator. Anyone who knows my taste in music or has talked about music with me could probably tell that I'm passionate about what I listen to. I am also critical with music. It has to be good for me to listen to it. My general criteria for listening to music are:
1) Good instrumentals
2) Good lyrics
3) Good artist/purpose/story behind music

For me to enjoy a song, it really only needs to meet one of those three criteria. If it meets all three... well then... I'm probably going to go somewhere else in my mind when I listen to it. This might make my obsession with bands like Beirut clear for some of you.

I want to use this post to comment on all things music, either making it or appreciating it.

I will continue to practice making music when I have time because although waking to make music may not be my purpose until my late eighties/early nineties, I owe it to myself to learn the fundamentals now. My first album is dropping in December 2076.

2 new albums came out when I was in the field this last week that I'm excited about.
The Black Keys - Brothers
Ben Sollee and Daniel Martin Moore - Dear Companion
Here's a link to a story about Ben Sollee's new album.
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=126978698

I titled this post, 'identity in music' for a couple different reasons. I think that music plays a large role in both societal culture and personal culture. Someone may write a song for one reason and I identify with it for a different reason because of my own life experiences. Also, the base urge I feel to make music might be coming from a subconscious desire to express my own unique identity. Is this how culture is formed?

A New Kind of American

I wanted to take this opportunity to play on the title of Brian McLaren's book and dedicate a post to thoughts on the U.S. and being an American. I'm probably only going to post a little at a time.

First, I must give credit to my friend Anthony for being with me when I realized the importance of these two following quotes.

"America's fundamental law seeks to make real the brotherhood of man."
These words were spoken by Louis D Brandeis in his speech to the Conference of Eastern Council of Reform Rabbis on April 25, 1915. The quote is etched into the wall of the OSU law building. Anthony and I were in a conversation and walking when both of our eyes reached it and immediately sensed the meaning for us and for all.
You can read it in context at the link below if you have the time. If not, the words stand strong alone.
http://www.law.louisville.edu/library/collections/brandeis/node/234
I will refer to this fundamental law in the future.

The next quote is important to the title of this post.
"There is nothing wrong with America that cannot be fixed with what is right in America."
These words were spoken by William Jefferson Clinton at his First Inaugural address on January 20, 1993. My grandpa Oscar would probably be upset that I quoted Bill Clinton, but regardless of his political stance or actions as President, I find truth in these words. These words were spoken to me by my friend Anthony at about 3am after the Mount Celebration ceremony my sophomore year in college. I will never forget that conversation and those words always stand out.

I hope that I continuously come back to them as I ask myself, "What am I doing to make it right?" It doesn't matter if I didn't commit the wrong. What am I doing to make it right? How do I make it right? What's the right way to make it right? I don't always have answers, but I do have enough to fill up working days.

A New Kind of Christian

Another week in the books here at Fort Leonard Wood. It was cold and rainy for most of the week and weekend and the forecast calls for more of the same for this next week while I'll be in the field. No worries, though, because I've got my love to keep me warm (I definitely need to pick up my Sinatra music with me when I visit home). They say, "If it ain't rainin', you ain't trainin'." I suppose this means I will get some bonafide training this week. I just need to make sure I put my picture of Katie in a Ziploc. Sorry for the cheese Kate.

Admin note: I won't have my cell phone until next Saturday night.

I finished a book this week that I mentioned in last week's blog about post-modernity. It is by an author/pastor/activist named Brian D. McLaren. I am fascinated by his writing style and am now excited to read two more of his books that Dion got as a going away present for me.

In a nutshell, the book details the hardships of a pastor named Dan struggling with feeling spiritual despair while at the same time trying to tend to his congregation. He decides that he might need to get out of ministry and into something else. He decides to talk with a local school teacher about getting into teaching. The teacher whom he approaches is his daughter's soccer coach named Neil Edward Oliver (Neo). The rest of the book divulges the specific details of conversations between the two new friends. The conversations are very heavy. While the book is relatively short at about 165 pages, it is long in respect to the thoughts that it stirs within.

I highly recommend this book for someone who wants to open their mind about how we think about faith. It is something that is so unique for all of us. It is an individual journey and a collective effort at the same time. Reading this book made me appreciate my mentors in life so much. Dion has without a doubt impacted the direction of my life simply by listening to my thoughts and giving guidance and encouragement. And, it was all done over coffee! My friends in college impacted me tremendously, and most (not all) of those times were done over a few beers! I've told Dion that because of the hearty content of my relationships, I felt like most of my faith building occurred outside of the church building, similar to how it's been said that most knowledge is learned outside of the classroom. The church building still has a great purpose in my perspective just like school, but the application of what is learned in church to the world is where I've seen my own faith grow the most.

I could write for days about this. It has given me a fervor to learn more about what I've heard Dion call practical theology. These are God's truths that can be put into practice in our everyday lives to make it "on Earth as it is in Heaven." I fall short of this often, but I do care to try everyday.

When I was in Guyana, Greg taught me many things that he has learned over a lifetime of preaching. It shed a lot of light on what it is to be a preacher. He told me about the difficulties of experiencing a "dark night of the soul" while ministering to a congregation. He told me (I'm paraphrasing) to think of a pastor as a farmer filling a silo with spiritual fodder. If the farmer does not actively reap the fodder from the fields, the silo will run empty and the farmer will have nothing left to feed the livestock (congregation). This is an immense responsibility!

Another thing that I have learned is that, depending on the organization of the church, the job security of the pastor depends on the satisfaction of the congregation with the message. So, it is possible that if the livestock no longer find the taste of the fodder desirable, they can find another farmer! This does not seem like a sound organizational structure not only because it doesn't fit this nice analogy, but often times, the truth of God convicts you and makes you uncomfortable. The purpose of God in our lives is not to rise to our maximum level of complacency. The congregation needs to be mature enough to receive difficult messages and instead of lashing out, seeking within first.

This all might seem a far cry from what A New Kind of Christian was about, but it is something that I've been thinking a lot about since I read it. If this writing about organizational structure does not seem relevant to you, I apologize, but it is very real for many autonomous churches that are sincerely trying to follow God. I also think that this is an appropriate topic considering that 2010 is the year of the priest in Roman Catholicism. For all of those who have felt and answered that call, I appreciate you.

Stop and smell the roses

I wanted to share a story of something I experienced this week. I have been working pretty hard since I've been here. Sometimes I get caught up with what's going on and don't always take time to appreciate why I'm doing it and why I'm thankful.

When I walked out of class the other day in a hurry, I almost stepped on something on the ground. I stopped and looked at it. It was a hummingbird! The hummingbird was resting on the ground at my feet. It didn't move at first, but just as I noticed her, she got up and flew around me and on up to the sky. Even hummingbirds stop and rest! I thank God for that reminder and it's nice to know that he's there to remind me that I'm doing it for him anyway.

What is Post-Modernity?

Warning: This post rambles!

I finished another week here at Fort Leonard Wood. We've finished the paperwork for the most part (Does it ever really end?) and have started classes. I'm beginning to feel more comfortable in establishing a routine for classes, working out, and studying. It's been nice to be able to talk with Katie and my family over the phone and Skype. I'm excited about the engineering curriculum we have here. It's going to be a lot of information fast, but I'm always eager to learn.

I wanted to use this post to express something I've been thinking about lately. It has come up in conversations with Anthony and in a book from Dion that I am reading called A New Kind of Christian by Brian McLaren.

The topic is post-modernity. It is something that has been talked about since probably the 1950s, but I am not convinced that it is defined yet. It is interesting how we as people are very good at classifying things, yet not so great at understanding what we are classifying. I imagine the human collection of knowledge being contained in a great big warehouse and the curator is overworked and underpaid. His inbox of new ideas is too much for him to file in one day. Whether it be his lack of social interaction or his knowledge of the fact that most of these ideas are only going to gather dust, he is now a disgruntled employee. I may be trying to say too many things with that image and I apologize if it is confusing. I just think that there are more ideas than there are the right words and ways of expressing them, so we group some of them together even if they don't go together.

Technology has given more people than ever a voice....a good thing.....right? It should be. Unfortunately, technology has not given everybody understanding nor a desire to be understanding of the exponentially larger amount of information that we are exposed to. To be blunt, we all have something to say but we don't all have an ear to say it too. This creates internal and external conflict (in ourselves and our relationships, even the close ones).

Anyways, back to post-modernity. As I've read, talked about, and questioned this concept, I've noticed that I may have thought about post-modernity different than others. All I knew was that I felt different than what was given to me. It seemed to be "modern" thinking that I was having internal conflict with. Therefore, I must be post-modern. This term troubles me because it lacks a timeless quality. I'm sure the first self conscious cave man didn't think to himself, "I'm prehistoric." Looking back on the beginning of post-modernity 100 years from now is going to be messy. Can every new idea that is not modern be post-modern? That depends. They are all post modern if we look at post-modernity as a chronological term. If it is a movement, then certainly not. Post-modernity as a movement is filled with contradicting thoughts. In philosophy it is an abandonment of perception being reality, an acknowledgment of perception, therefore a lack of belief in any reality. It is filled with more hope in some theology as it is a call for spending more energy on loving rather than spending energy on proving one is right or wrong. The second council of the Vatican was chock full of this notion, which is why I think we haven't heard many clergy wasting time speaking out against evolution. Even Wikipedia tries to distinguish between post-modernity and post-modernism (without citing sources..ahh!). There is post-modern philosophy, post-modern dance, post-modern art, post-modern theology, post-modern economics. I'm just waiting for a new video game to come out called Call of Duty: Post-modern Warfare!!!

This is already longer than I wanted it to be. I could go on much much longer, but not now. I will continue on my journey reaching forward. I'd be interested to hear anyone else's thoughts.

A Wonderful Weekend of Studying

This was my first weekend here at Fort Leonard Wood. I feel like I have really hit the ground running. From the time I have been here, I have been going at it all day. I haven't established a routine yet, but I have been incorporating every new thing that I learn everyday into my body of knowledge. I finished two online courses online that were supposed to be 10 hours long each. I think I may have finished them in about 12 hours. You better believe I went for a nice run after staring at a computer for that long! I've read a book already and I'm studying, studying, studying. I'm also organizing many things in my life. The Army requires a lot of paperwork, so I'm trying to make myself as efficient and proactive as possible to minimize the runaround that tends to happen in a bureaucratic organization. I'm making excel spreadsheets for all of my finances, and I'm feeling really good about all of it!

Waking up to go to work is exciting even though I miss everyone because I know that I'm working for God and my future with Katie. Plus, I know she's doing the same.

I tried to go to a church service with a buddy I've made here named Obasohan. I call him Obi. He's originally from Nigeria and now lives in Texas. The chapel that we tried to go to today was closed, so we came back. He had some more online classes to do, but I went off post to go to a church on route 66. It was a beautiful morning.

One thought I had today occurred when I asked Obi what service he wanted to go to. He said, "Well, Protestant I guess." I never thought about the word Protestant until today. I would probably be identified as a Protestant, because the only options available are: Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, and Muslim. It occurred to me that I do not wish to be identified as a Protestant simply because I do not feel that I am "protesting" anything. Anyways, it's something to think about.

I love you all!